


Black Sea

by florsworld



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Fantasy, M/M, My first english fanfic, i think that's angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-09-01 00:16:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20249011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florsworld/pseuds/florsworld
Summary: Leo thought Izumi loved him from the bottom of his heart, but he was just a substitute for Makoto's unrequited love.





	Black Sea

**Author's Note:**

> hello~ thanks miu for translating the fanfic
> 
> I don't usually write angst, so sorry if isn't good

Leo enjoyed the good times with Izumi.

There was a part of Izumi that wasn't usually shown to the general public, but Leo liked it when they were alone. Izumi could be a lot more loving than when he was with others, completely considerate and gentle, even if he later denied it, but it was obvious how faithful he was to his king, not only because of his knighthood, but because of that passion in his heart. Leo felt a little calm, in contrast to his usual agitation, when he laid in a bed with Izumi, without any malice, just a quiet moment, when he hugged him, talked about some royal affairs that Leo ignored, like the good king he was, and liked to pretend to live in an ideal utopia.

"Ou-sama, are you paying attention?", Izumi asked, noting that Leo seemed distant in the conversation about the taxes charged of the people.

"Ah? What?" He asked, not even trying to disguise that he wasn’t paying attention. But before Izumi could continue, Leo hugged his body. "Sena is so beautiful, I can't pay attention to anything else, wahaha!"

"You don't… ah, leave it." He gave up, because it was better that way. It was always the best option when it came to a distant Leo. And he surrendered to him, as usual, taking the opportunity to caress his hair.

Leo could shoulder the responsibilities of taking care of a kingdom later.

"Sena, I love you!" Leo said in his usual spontaneous way, without context, without pretext, just the purest feeling released in the air. Izumi smiled because he thought it was cute, but wearing a faint smile with a bitterness that Leo didn't understand the reason for and, unfortunately, in the future would find out, even if he preferred not to.

Leo really didn't know how not receiving an “I love you too” in response could hurt him.

But they were kisses, casual sex, pleasant moments. Little by little, Leo sank deeper into that mad passion of loving Izumi, his faithful knight who was always there for him. If Leo was defined by inconsistency, Izumi could hold piece by piece to keep him steady and in line, which created a slight dependence for Leo, a feeling that "If Izumi was with him, everything would be all right," and It was with this thought that their relationship was shaped.

"He's perfect, isn't he? "Was what Leo said to Tsukasa when Izumi had a mission and had to go far away. 

Tsukasa smiled, or rather, forced a smile.

"I think so." Even if he didn't agree, those were the words that came out of his mouth. "You really like him, don't you, Ou-sama?"

"I love him more than anyone else, wahaha!" Tsukasa knew that all of Leo's 'I love you' to him, to anyone, were empty, emotionless.

Tsukasa knew that he was nothing in the king's life.

Even if he was willing to die for him, as the faithful knight he was.

"Do you think he loves me too, Suo?" Leo asked, his eyes twinkling. Tsukasa knew the answer, but he was too coward to tell Leo the truth. Anyone would know, maybe even Leo did, but was trying to convince himself otherwise.

'He sure loves you, leader." Tsukasa stroked Leo's hair, who snuggled into him, in a friendship that meant nothing more than that, a friendship, a painful and inevitable treacherous relationship that Tsukasa had with him. "I think it's hard not to love you. And anyone who doesn't love you back is certainly an idiot."

"Ah, Suo is so cute!" Leo smiled, hugging him tighter.

He was a simple toy for Leo, after all.

"Sena really is chasing that soldier from far away, isn't he?", that was an information Leo suspected and wanted to ask his knights but, heavens, it seemed impossible for him to say something like this, as if just the mere mention of the act could make it true.  
He tried to deny the truth.

And he would keep denying it until the truth became a lie, and the lie became truth.

He drew hard at the arrow, holding the bow tight in his hands, never bothered to aim, never making any effort, he was crude in his movements, tugging, holding and releasing, the arrow traveling a long distance until it dug right in the middle of the aim.

He seemed to be angry.

"Leader, you are doing well." Tsukasa praised, approaching him.

"Ah, Suo, were you around? I didn't see you, ha." Tsukasa thought, for a brief moment, "what's the news?", since that was normal, Leo never noticed him, it was always the opposite.

He didn't care.

"Are you alright?" Tsukasa asked, approaching Leo.

"I'm fine, why wouldn't I be fine? Why? Do you think there is something wrong with me? Do you think I was crying? Why would I be crying? There is no reason for that. I'm great, look!"

Tsukasa sighed deeply.

"You are not well." Taking closer steps, Tsukasa held the bow for Leo, enough for him to look away.

He knew Leo well enough to know every part of him.

"No! Of course I'm fine! Look, I'm smiling, so I'm fine!"

"Leader, you don't have to pretend in front of me." He opened his arms, as if to welcome him. "What happened? Tell me."

Leo hugged him.

Firm, strong.

He wished he was hugging Izumi like that.

He wanted Izumi to be behind him after Leo didn't show up at the castle for hours.

He wanted Izumi to realize how much he was about to collapse.

And not Tsukasa.

Why did it have to be Tsukasa, and not Izumi?

He pushed Tsukasa away, some tears streaming down his face.

"It's difficult." He said, not understanding his own feelings. Tsukasa sighed deeply, he had the patience to deal with Leo, that was what he needed most.

"It's about Izumi, isn't it?" he wanted to complete, saying "it's always about Izumi", but didn't.

"He…" he bit his lower lip. It was rare to see Leo at such delicate times "since Makoto Yuuki came to the realm, Sena doesn't pay attention to me. He talks to me only for a few moments, I've barely seen him more than a few minutes in the last two weeks."

It was pathetic.

"He's mine, isn't he, Suo?" Leo asked. "He is mine!" He tried to confirm, as if to make himself believe. "Then why doesn't he care about me? Why does he have to care for that Makoto?"

Because love is cruel, Tsukasa meant to say, and it doesn't always give us what we want.

"He must just be doing business… " Tsukasa tried to explain, running his hands lightly through Leo's hair to make him comfortable. Leo was like this, a person who constantly and unintentionally tried to draw others' attention to him. And Tsukasa was the guy who was always there to give him attention.

"I see, so when Yuuki leaves, Sena will come back to me?"

There was a morbid hope on Leo's face.

One that Tsukasa felt the pain to see.

However… the important thing was that Leo was happy, right? At least that was what Tsukasa convinced himself to believe. If Leo was happy, it was all right, even if Leo's happiness indicated Tsukasa's suffering and the sadistic pain in his heart for his feelings that refused to provide him with a happy ending. He obviously had to walk the hardest and most difficult path, and yet he would never reach the desired destination.

"Of course!" He tried to convince him. "Just wait a few days, right?"

Leo's smile, so deep, so cheerful, so naive and innocent, made Tsukasa's heartache. He didn't have the heart to tell Leo that Sena was more in love with the soldier than with his own king, he wouldn't be the one who would take the happy smile off Leo's face, he wouldn't be the one who would make Leo feel the same way he did.

A few days passed.

And everything went back to how it used to be.

Leo walking close to Izumi, riding together, sharing the same horse, kissing in the middle of the royal cavalry dinners that contained only the most intimate of Leo friends - those who would surely not care if the majesty was kissing his favorite knight, and Tsukasa was there, he always was, seeing from afar. It wasn't all bad, Leo was smiling, and that was enough to make him happy.  
For now, Leo's biggest problems seemed to be about wanting to marry Izumi, but not being able to do so, he muttered from time to time about how good it would be if he were his queen.

The illusion lasted for a short time.

Because, shortly after, Makoto Yuuki returned. Leo knew that Makoto Yuuki was a renowned soldier who always ran away from Izumi, as if Izumi had the black plague and Makoto had an absurd fear of contracting it. This was what somehow reassured Leo, for he felt that, no matter how much Izumi wanted Makoto, he would never have him.

But things changed.

Things changed, and now Makoto was beginning to tolerate Izumi. Not a problem, of course, Leo told himself, Izumi still loved him, always said aloud how important Leo was to him (but not as important as Makoto was), stuck with those words, Tsukinaga believed that it was okay.

Everything was okay. 

Good moments.

It had been good times that subsequently passed and became ruins of something that was forced to continue to exist at each moment. And Leo knew he had been naive enough to believe that it was possible to live his perfect fairy tale he had dreamed as a child, it was too fanciful to believe that he would be a king with a knight to save him from everything he needed like in romances sung in the taverns he used to visit in secret.

Izumi was, in simple words, a perdition.

A part of Leo had always known, through sloppy smiles, accepted, told himself it was okay, pretended not to know, because touching the wound was inevitably painful. He couldn't smile, Leo was never good at hiding all his feelings, especially when he had anger involved. Just as Izumi said to finish "what they had," Leo screamed, shouted, like a spoiled brat. He didn't want to lose what they had. Struggling in Izumi's arms, calling him an idiot, in a tantrum not worthy of someone who was named king, Izumi tried to calm him down, but it was useless.

"I'm sorry, ou-sama." Those were Izumi's exact words, said as he stroked his head trying to comfort him, tears streaming from Leo's face.  
He wished this moment would never come.

"I love you, but…" He bit his bottom lip, at the moment of such serenity, Izumi's hands wrapping around Leo in an honest apology. Leo knew, there was no way to control his heart. "I love him more."

But Izumi had to control his heart.

And Leo couldn't admit it.

Ah, how Tsukasa hated to love that.

Leo closed his eyes. He liked to imagine that it was Izumi, even if the size was different, even if it was more pleasurable, it was more fun to receive than to give, from his mere perspective. Tsukasa's touches were more comfortable, yet it wasn't like Izumi. There was something else, something Leo couldn't define, and Tsukasa would say it was love, but Leo didn't want to hear that, as it would be bad to have to admit that Izumi didn't fuck with feelings. It was all so… carnal? But the way Tsukasa did it made something sad, empty, since with Izumi it wasn't like that.

"If Sena was with Makoto, then I'll stay with Suo," Leo told himself, willing to lie down with Suou as if it were a form of revenge, or just a way to fill his empty heart. It took him a while to convince him, since Tsukasa didn't want to do this with an emotionally unstable Leo, however, he insisted so much that Tsukasa knew he would not be able to say no to his king, and gave into his feelings, not realizing how much he liked to have finally realized his dream of having Leo in his bed.

This went on every night for a week.

And Leo looked good.

But he just looked like he was. 

And that wasn't the Leo Tsukasa liked, since when was Leo the king who hid his emotions for a greater good? He was the kind of person who screamed everything he felt, had no filter in his mouth, got in trouble for talking too much, and now he was sad, so discouraged that he wouldn't even open his mouth to talk, much less to smile, had a bitter look in his eyes, those eyes that were supposed to be green, however, were reddish from tearing. That was not the king Tsukasa loved, he wanted the tantrum maker Leo, who was going to stomp his feet and complain about Izumi, to say that Izumi was his and should be with him, not accepting his disappearance as the child he was.  
Leo no longer seemed to have the essence of living.

He looked broken.

Like a crashed instrument.

Tsukasa didn't know how to fix him, as much as he wanted to, trying his best, but nothing seemed useful, not when Leo's mind could only think of one person. He laid beside him, after satisfying his king as he liked, Leo seemed to like it, his smile seemed honest, yet even if his body did like it, there was still a little sadness in his eyes. Tsukasa hugged him.

Leo knew that.

It was never a secret to him that Tsukasa was in love with him.

However, ignoring this seemed to be the least painful for them.

It was easier to try to look like he could only see Tsukasa as a loyal friend, enjoying the casual fucks, attachment, and professional relationship of a king and knight, than to look him in the eye and say he could never love him the same way that he loved him. But it was hard, very hard, when Tsukasa tried to be so good to him, better than Izumi ever was, it was hard when Tsukasa hugged him, said it was all right, said he was the best person in the world and spoiled him. Even more difficult when Tsukasa scolded him, when he cursed him for doing irresponsible things, for Tsukasa was not to touch Leo's head and say that it was all right when it was not.

He just wanted everything to be simpler. And that he could blame someone and have him to solve his problems.

Leo wanted to start crying and this time he decided to speak, not trying to hide anything from Tsukasa.

"I wish... he was you." He bit his lower lip, disbelieving his words. "That he was as perfect as you are."

He hugged Tsukasa, trying not to hurt himself with his own words.

Tsukasa sighed deeply, stroking Leo's hair.

His heart seemed to tighten.

_“You don't need him while I'm here, leader, just love me, see! I can be good to you, I can love you more than Izumi ever loved you, I love you more than he ever loved you.”_

It was not simple to say that.

So his decision was not to say.

"And I wish, leader, that you could be happy with me."

That was enough for Leo's full strength to collapse, for him to close his eyes and let the tears flow. He felt horrible, he felt like a monster because he couldn't match Tsukasa's feelings. Did Izumi felt that way? Had he had a little bit of pity? Did he want to love him the way he loved someone else? Or didn't he just care about Leo and everything in his life now was about Makoto? Leo felt that way, as if he were a simple distraction for Izumi while he didn't have his true lover.

The worse? The worst thing was the fact that he did just the same with Tsukasa.

And Tsukasa didn't deserve this, but Leo didn't want to give in.

Leo, in his late twenties, seemed more like a child who couldn't get what he wanted. It was typical. At least that was the real Leo.  
However, he was not cruel.

He would not deprive him.

He apologized, said plainly that he would never be able to love him back, but Tsukasa just stroked his hair and said it was okay, that he didn't mind being the second option, he minded, that he didn't care that he was just a substitute and could be replaced by Izumi at any moment, of course he did, it hurt him, he knew he was telling lies, Tsukasa didn't want to delude himself.

He just wanted Leo to be happy.

And maybe one day, Leo could be as happy by his side as he would be by Izumi's side.

He kissed his forehead again, said nothing more, waited for Leo to fall asleep, then slept together with him.

Hoping the next day would always be better.


End file.
